Celebrity Photos, Pictures, Images

Tara Reid Confused About How This Suicide Thing Works

“Wait a minute, so I’m supposed to tie this in a knot? And then attach
it to something above me? Sheesh, that sounds exhausting. Can’t I just
drink myself to death?”

Actually, it would be even sadder (but not surprising) to find out that she’s just trying to figure out how to use a tampon.

Bikini saleswoman Tara Reid
is still making the rounds, promoting her new Mantra beachwear line at
the Las Vegas fashion tradeshow “When I Move You Move.” I feel like she
should not look so confused while handling her wares. It’s not exactly
instilling a whole lot of faith in her potential customers.

All this trash looks familiar. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Tara styled the set and costumes for Heidi Montag’s music video opus. It’s nice when trashy blond hookers help each other out. Heartwarming, even.

Click any image to view all 10 photos of a confused Tara Reid in the gallery!

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Jodie Marsh Can Barely Contain Her…Glee

Move over Jordan (A/K/A Katie Price), there’s a new ridiculous trashy British diva who’s filling my head with dreams of ridiculous breasts and crazy, skimpy clothes that require extreme hand and eye coordination to make sure that nipples don’t fly loose.

Here’s British “glamor model” Jodie Marsh at the premiere of Daylight Robbery, blah, blah, blah. Basically it’s an excuse for her to air out the ladies out on the red carpet.

Oh, who am I kidding? There’s room for both of you filthy whores. Well, maybe not if we were all three trying to squeeze into a phone booth for a Top Model photoshoot. I’m pretty sure someone’s head would end up crushed in monster cleavage, even after Jordan’s recent reduction.

I guess if these fun bags are fake, then they at least look more realistic than some of the boob jobs we’ve seen here on the site that more resemble sporting equipment than body parts.

Click any image to view all 15 photos of Jodie Marsh and her huge boobs in the gallery!

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Haley Joel Osment Is Broadway Bound

The child star phenom Haley Joel Osment fell off the face of the planet except for the obligatory drunk driving arrest since his ridiculously successful childhood acting career.

These days, he’s enrolled at New York University. But now, he’s taking a break from school and pulling a Daniel Radcliffe and will be taking his giant head and almond-shaped eyes to Broadway.

Now, he’s not going to be flashing his goods, but he will be breaking out of the child actor mold and taking on the role of a con man in the Broadway revival of American Buffalo. Well, at least he won’t have to compete with Katie Holmes for ticket sales. Ooh, Broadway burn!

Check out all the photos of Haley Joel Osment in the gallery.

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Justin Timberlake Gives (Preggo?) Jessica Biel The Spotlight

First things first, let’s divulge our suspicions that the usually athletic to the point of ridiculousness Jessica Biel is concealing something underneath that summer dress of hers. She seems way too disciplined to pull a Lisa Timmons (i.e. declaring it a “Cookie Weekend” and eating her weight in both Oreos and Brie) so we’re all jumping aboard the assumption train here in regards to a possible pregnancy, even though she’s said before that she doesn’t want any of that mess.

As for her buoyant relationship with Justin Timberlake, the actress received some moral support from her superstar boyfriend at the premiere of her new film Hole in the Paper Sky. Biel write, directed and produced the movie and a witness said of JT’s arrival, “[Justin] was saying how excited he was to be back in Palm Springs to see Jessica’s film.”

Little known fact: her dog ghost-wrote most of it. Just kidding! That would be silly. Her dog thinks movies are frivolous.

Check out all the photos of Jessica Biel in the gallery.

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It’s Brad Pitt Day Here At Socialite Life!

Brad Pitt has taken Venice by storm! His righteous starpower has caused the city to sink even further! Venice hasn’t seen this sort of drama since that Merchant thing!

Here’s Brad accepting the 2007 Coppa Volpi for Best Actor for The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford at a Venice Film Festival dinner. Aren’t they a little behind?

They should just give this ho the key to the city and a solid gold gondola to boat around in. And perhaps the mayor’s first-born. He did say he wanted more kids.

Click any image to view all 10+ photos of Brad Pitt along with George Clooney and Tilda Swinton in the gallery!

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News Bites: Drugs Are Obviously Clouding Mackenzie Phillips’ Judgement

-Mackenzie Phillips was busted at LAX trying to get onboard a plane with balloons of heroin and cocaine in her carry-on. How f*cking junked out do you have to be to think that will work? You can’t even bring Astroglide on anymore without airline officials thinking you’re about to blow the wings off the plane . Sad 70s bitch.

-R. Kelly says that he had no knowledge of a fund-raising scam some chick was using his name for. Some South African broad was contacting people to screw them out of money under the pretense that it was for a R. Kelly concert. And get this - police reportedly found proof that this chick had deposited money in dude’s account. Didn’t he JUST get over those pedo charges?

-Gallant knight-in-shining armor Suge Knight was busted this morning in Vegas for terrorizing his girlfriend of three years. Apparently, Suge donkeypunched her in the back of the head while she was driving. His girlfriend supposedly drove into traffic so someone would notice that a large, psychotic man was terrorizing her and then fled the car with Suge giving chase. Jesus. He was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon, possession of controlled substances and domestic violence. Mainly because when the police caught him, he was waving a knife at her and kicking her in the head. Sorry, ladies - he’s taken!

Click any image to view all 10+ photos of Mackenie Phillips in the gallery!

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Happy Birthday, Bitch! - Tom Ford

Sexy muthatrucka Tom Ford is 47 today. Normally, I tend to hate on these swarthy perfection fashion types. But there’s just something about Tom Ford that screams gay animal lust. You know he keeps a harem of wayward frat boys to molest around the clock. He sounds like he can be kind of a prick sometimes. But this dude is so sure of himself that he tried to sell fragrance by photographing the bottles stuffed in hey-nanny-nannies and buttcracks. But somehow the sweat-sheened orifices containing perfume bottles came across like edgy marketing! Ok, they were actually totally gross. Yeah, I don’t need a cologne bottle that’s been in your labial folds, thanks. But still, Tom Ford = hot.

Click any photo to view all 30+ photos of Tom Ford in the gallery!

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China Wasn’t A Fan Of Britain In The Closing Ceremonies

China sounds like it’s sort of cranky. The Chinese papers are saying that Britain’s showing in the closing ceremonies of the 2008 Summer Olympics was beat.

Britain had a red bus show up (makes sense) with Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page and singer Leona Lewis aboard. Apparently the Chinese felt that those weren’t big enough celebrities and they thought it was lame when all of the British people present ran to get onboard when the bus doors opened. The Chinese are big with people lining up.

This a damn nitpicky country. Didn’t this same country let some little girl lipsynch another girl’s song because the first girl was too fug? What’s with these people? Oh, and they had a problem with David Beckham’s kicking the ball towards the “Bird’s Nest.”

“As for David Beckham, he was supposed to kick the football towards the
red circle in the centre of the ‘Bird’s Nest’. In the end, just like
any of his penalties at a football match, he totally missed it. He
kicked the ball to the left and dropped in the crowd, then was picked
up by a lucky Chinese volunteer who would not let go of the ball,” according to the Daily First.

The Chinese media needs to chill. And free Tibet! Ok, they can’t do that. But maybe they should focus on that issue as opposed to bitching about an unruly line to get on a bus. Sharon Stone, get them!

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Vanessa Minnillo Opens Her Mouth To Talk About Love

Image via Wikipedia

The many faces of Vanessa Minnillo! Vanessa and her yawning maw showed up to TRL to promote Disaster Movie (they gave this bitch a role? Was Maria Menounos unavailable?) and talk about how Nick Lachey is her man and how he does her right and she’s got no problem with taking Jessica Simpson’s sloppy seconds inside her. Hey, it’s a paycheck.

“The L-word is not thrown around by men as easily as it is by women -
but I didn’t say it first! He’s very loving. We’re very open and
vocal,” she says about “love” and how it relates to her and Nick.

She’s probably talking about “lesbians” and the first time Nick wanted to bring some skank home from the bar to get up in their mix. That’s the “L-word” he said first. Poor deluded girl. There’s even a show about lezzies called that! I *heart* Shane.

Check out all the photos of Vanessa Minnillo in the gallery.

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Unqualified With J. Harvey: Lack Of Scrubbing Bubbles

Hello, advice groupies! Welcome to the waning days of summer! This week we have a woman whose boyfriend is a stranger to the ways of the bath gel, shampoo and loofah. Yuck. Keep reading.

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‘Burn After Reading’: The Premiere!

Here’s baby-lusting (err..) Brad Pitt, George Clooney and the red-headed alabaster perfection we call Tilda Swinton at the Burn After Reading premiere at the Venice Film Festival.

It’s the latest Coen Bros. opus, and this one looks to be a light-hearted romp compared to No Country For Old Men, because we all know how THAT sucka turned out. A motel room full of misery!

At the accompanying press conference, the Coens mentioned they basically cast some of their favorite actors as morons. Hi, Brad!

“Looking at the parts we are playing, I’m very concerned about what you think of us,” Clooney said. He has an affair with Tilda in the flick. That’s not moronic!

Pitt and the always interesting Frances McDormand play idiotic health club workers who find John Malkovich’s CIA memoirs and hilarity ensues. All I care about is that Tilda Swinton gets adequate screen time. Because she’s defies description and we need more of her.

Check out the trailer, the Coens rarely disappoint.

Featured in the gallery: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Tilda Swinton, Lola Ponce, Claudia Schieffer and Joel and Ethan Cohen.

Click any photo to view all 45+ photos from the Burn After Reading premiere at the Venice Film Festival in the gallery!

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Nicollette Sheridan & Michael Bolton call off engagement

Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton are no longer getting married, E! News reports:

They “have amicably ended their engagement,” Sheridan’s rep said in a statement Tuesday. “They appreciate your respect for their privacy in this matter.”

Hey, life sucks then you die. What I’m more concerned with is how the hell is Nicollette Sheridan’s nipples practically visible through a sweat suit? Those things are fucking bionic. Someone get this chick in the ring with Jennifer Aniston and crank up the A/C. There can be only one!

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Fashion Disaster Of The Day: Solange Knowles

Poor baby Solange Knowles. You know Momma Tina Knowles only designs the good stuff for her baby Beyonce. Okay, so Tina doesn’t really do shoes but I still like to assume any fashion faux pas by one her daughters is her fault since she is their stylist or whatever.

Solange actually looks cute for MTV’s TRL until you hit her ankles, and then all hairy hell breaks loose. I’m not exactly sure what she was going for with those shoes/slippers/sasquatch feet, and I’m pretty sure we will never know.

Screw momma Tina. I bet Beyonce told her to wear them. Bitch will not be selling more albums than her and she is going to make sure of it!

Click any image to view all 15+ photos of Solange Knowles are in the gallery!

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Kristin Chenoweth Cares About Meth Heads

LOL! Enjoy all the wonders of Kristen Chenoweth!

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