Celebrity Pictures in Bikinis, Swimsuit Photos, Candid pics, Sexy Images

Jodie Marsh has ridiculous breasts

These are shots of British reality TV star Jodie Marsh at the premiere of Daylight Robbery. Jodie is apparently the scourge of the English celebrity scene and likes to show up at red carpet events in Spandex. Think Andy Dick but with gigantor boobs. That said, don’t tell me this isn’t Britney Spears in 10 years. I mean, just looking at that pouch, I’m convinced this actually is her sent back from the future to warn us about something. But what? Terminators? Global Warming? Heidi Montag? Tell us, Future Britney with Implants! I swear I’ll make eye contact - sort of.

EDIT: Added more pics because, well, yeah….

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Liquid Lunch Podcast - Ep. 07

The Politics of Dancing

Dancing with the Stars is lowering the bar on what the definition of a “star” is, but they have a lot more Olympians on than ever before. Kim Kardashian’s injured herself already for this upcoming season. Lisa and Wayne are all a-twitter over the new cast.

Is Jessica Biel pregnant? Maybe, but really, who cares? Also, who the hell is Daddy Yankee? No one is sure.

Why are Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt infecting produce with their idiocy? Stop touching fruit, you jerks! Lisa’s a horrible voter, but she has been keeping up with the fashions of the Democractic National Convention because that’s really the best part.

All past and present Liquid Lunch Podcast episodes can be found on LiquidLunchPodcast.com and iTunes.

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Jodie Marsh has ridiculous breasts

Image via Wikipedia

These are shots of British reality TV star Jodie Marsh at the premiere of Daylight Robbery. Jodie is apparently the scourge of the English celebrity scene and likes to show up at red carpet events in Spandex. Think Andy Dick but with gigantor boobs. That said, don’t tell me this isn’t Britney Spears in 10 years. I mean, just looking at that pouch, I’m convinced this actually is her sent back from the future to warn us about something. But what? Terminators? Global Warming? Heidi Montag? Tell us, Future Britney with Implants! I swear I’ll make eye contact - sort of.

EDIT: Added more pics because, well, yeah….

Tags: pics, sexy photos, celebrities pics, celebrity picture, celebrity images, celeb news, celeb image, celeb images, swimsuit photos, sexy image

News Bites: Cristiano Ronaldo Awarded

-Slick player Cristiano Ronaldo won an award for forward of the past season at the UEFA Champions League Draw in Monte Carlo. Ok, I have no clue what any of that meant but I think it’s a soccer thing? Kick that ball! All I care is that this dude has some hot abs. Click the link. That’s what I’m talking about…

-Desperate No-Need-For-A-Midwife (ok, not my best) Jennifer Aniston will guest-star on 30 Rock this season. That’s a hot show, so she better bring it. No word on what her character will be like but I’m totally holding out for love-starved easily duped by douchebags actress.

-Despite rumors, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are not opening a bar in NYC. Douchebag Bar? Cafe Twat? Well then I guess I don’t need to make these Molotov cocktails then!

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Heidi Montage And Spencer Pratt: Two Dicks Shopping

Here’s aerobic serpent Heidi Montag and goontard Spencer Pratt after they had alerted the paparazzi to the fact that they would be shopping at the local Gelson’s market. Please scan the horrible couple’s cart for maximum absorbency tampons for Heidi and Preparation H for Spencer. You know he’s got some sort of swelling problem back there from Heidi using the strap-on on a daily basis.

I’m working blue, but these two need to be stopped. At once. There oughta be a law!

Speaking truthfully, who wears that effed up Solid Gold dancer outfit she’s got on to the damn supermarket? Suedey boots and Jon Benet Ramsey makeup? She looks like she had a stylist in to doll her gross ass up for the produce section!

Click any photo to view all 10+ photos of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in the gallery!

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Audrina Patridge Bikini Pictures Go for Gold

It’s Audrina Patridge bikini picture time again. And this time, it looks like Audrina has been inspired by Michael Phelps or something, because she’s rocking the gold bikini. But you know, I’m starting to think they don’t pay Audrina…

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Heidi Montag: ‘I’m a virgin’ (A HA HA HA HA HA!)

Apparently during Heidi Montag’s interview with Ryan Seacrest she claimed to still be a virgin. Chins McJugs has a hymen? Hilarious! Scope out this load of crap via Hollyscoop:

Speidi talked about how Heidi is “still a virgin” and how religious she is, insisting that her “next album is going to be a Christian one.”
“We don’t sin over here,” said Spencer. Who added that they place “pillows in between” them at night so they’re not tempted to have sex.

But Hollyscoop immediately caught Heidi in her bullshit when they found an old episode of The Hills where she has a pregnancy scare:

In the episode Heidi tells Spencer, “I took a pregnancy test,” but assured him that it turned out negative. Last we checked, if you’re a virgin, you wouldn’t need to take a pregnancy test. Sources tell Hollyscoop that “It’s just another PR stunt for them to gain more press for her album.”

No, you know what? I want the pregnancy scare to be fake and the virginity claim to be the real deal. Nothing would bring me more joy than knowing Spencer Pratt poses for these retarded pictures then goes home to hump a pillow. Now there’s a shining example of God’s existence. I’ve seen the light!

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Audrina Patridge Shoots The Hills!

Audrina Patridge and the cast from The Hills are filming again and this time it’s pool side with everyone in swimsuits! And apparently Audrina thinks “the hills” now refers to her fairly new breast implants. Yep, she told the press that she doesn’t even need a floatation device now…

Oh, and if you check out that bottom photo, it looks like you aren’t the only one catching a sneak peek of Audrina Patridge in a bikini. That dude is getting a bird’s eye view! Oh, and you can click the picture for the full photo.

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Even More Kate Beckinsale Bikini Pictures

Earlier today I posted some Kate Beckinsale bikini pictures from her trip to Cabo, now I’ve found even more of them, so instead of saving it for tomorrow I figure why not share them with all my special internet friends. That’s just the kind of man I am. Don’t get the wrong idea, when I called you ’special’ I didn’t mean it like ‘Kate Beckinsale’s ass is special’, I meant it more like Special Olympics ’special’. Enjoy.

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Kate Beckinsale Bikini Pictures

It’s not often we get to see one of the hottest MILF’s in Hollywood Kate Beckinsale frolicking on the beach in her bikini. She’s normally pretty good about keeping away from the paparazzi so these are a nice treat. She’s got a killer body, her ass is showing the wear and tear of motherhood but I’d still eat breakfast off it anytime.

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Audrina Patridge in a bikini

Audrina Patridge needs to remind Heidi that the only good Hills star is a bikini-clad Hills star. Well, except for Lauren Conrad whose chest could literally put a man to sleep.

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Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt Will Wed On TV

So, the trainwreck known as Speidi would like to unite their evil powers in unholy matrimony that is to be televised live. Heidi Montag’s made no secret of her desire to get married to sketchy boyfriend Spencer Pratt.

And now these two publicity whores will be broadcasting their nuptials, the couple revealed to Extra.
According to Heidi, “I’m just waiting for that big ring.” God, look at
these pictures. Do these idiots ever actually DO anything? I feel like
aside from being this relationship and the occasional horrible song, they don’t have any other way of filling their time.

I love that these two idiots would like to commemorate the biggest
mistake of their lives by inviting the rest of the world to watch.
Let’s hope the inevitable divorce proceedings will be on live TV as
well.

Check out all the photos of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in the gallery.

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Heidi Montag Determined To Clothe Every Whore Alive

Plastic-faced star of The Hills Heidi Montag has launched yet another clothing line to be sold at Kitson in Hollywood. Based solely on what she’s wearing, I’m guessing that she’s marketing her line toward the “baby prostitute” demographic.

Her henchman Spencer Pratt was also at the launch event, attempting to jam Team Heidi t-shirts down the throats of attendees. I’m surprised he wasn’t pointing a gun to people’s backs.

Ugh, can’t they go to Iraq already, so we can be done with them?

Click any photo to view all 35+ photos of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt continuing to whore themselves out in the gallery!

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Heidi & Spencer pretend to shop for $12 mil house, bribe realtor to go along with it

Heidi and Spencer love to take everyday events and turn them into photo shoots so fucking retarded, you’ll swear you’ve been huffing paint all morning. Here some hapless realtor is forced to take part in their shenanigans. But, then again, this man has no soul because he later lied to TMZ about Mr. and Mrs. Cockweasel’s real estate potential:

So we thought it was a big publicity stunt, until we called the realtor who showed the property. Sandro Dazzan says they’re “serious buyers,” although he doesn’t think they’ll pull the trigger right away. Dazzan stunned us when he said they can afford the $12 million beach house right now, but that they’re “at least six months” out from being able to afford the bigger house.

Serious buyers who won’t pull the trigger. Interesting, Sandro. So, basically, Heidi showed you her boobs, and you agreed to pretend they’ve got money? Unless a commission shot out of her nipples, congratulations, you’re an idiot. The only way these two can buy a house is if you let them pay in forced smiles and chin wax.

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Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt Want A Humble Abode

Well, if Lauren Conrad can buy her own house, why can’t Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt buy one?

Of course these two will not be outdone. They were spotted shopping in Malibu, nonetheless, for some beachfront houses. The first one was listed at $12 million dollars and the second at $15 mil.

Heidi’s mouth is open so wide I assumed it had to be a publicity stunt, but apparently they really are looking for more privacy.

According to the realtor showing the property they are “serious buyers,” but are going to take their time finding the right place. The two can afford the cheaper $12 million place now, but it will be “at least six months” before they can buy the big one.

Meanwhile, I’ll be accepting Paypal donations so I can make rent in a week and seriously considering pitching my own reality series on MTV. Auditions for tool boyfriend TBA. Must be willing to buy me a new rack.

Click on any image to view the gallery of 12 photos featuring Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt.

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